All the above reasons are why Dutch nationals would choose for mediation. You however are in a special situation. You are living in a legal and fiscal regime in Holland which has its own unique way of approaching both you as an expat and now as a divorcee. Each step that is taken involves complexity, will you stay here or leave, how is alimony paid here, what happens should my ex partner and/or the children go abroad, how do you arrange all of this to be tax effective between different countries, what happens if the ex partner who pays alimony loses his or her job or worse still dies, how do I secure my pension rights with different pension funds in various countries?
Without the co-operation of your partner to sort these questions out and approach the appropriate bodies here or abroad the difficulties of sorting all of this out can be almost insurmountable. Realizing this tends to make the choice for mediation quite simple.